So, I’m tired of confusing cycles and evil patterns that seem to tear me down. I fall into the traps of obligation and expectation, and as of 5 minutes ago, I decided to end it once and for all. I am guilty of only half-heartedly embracing my personal revolution project, losing my commitment to cleanse and detox programs, ignoring my own health and lifestyle rules, and ignoring second chances and opportunities because I am too overwhelmed with the pointless crap.
I can’t do it anymore. Scratch that. I WON’T do it anymore.
Yes, I know it’s finals week, and that my main focus should be on stressing myself out and worrying about every little thing, but it’s not. It’s impossible for me to focus on my schoolwork when I don’t even have the room to breathe. I over-commit myself to social events, I misuse my work time, I don’t appreciate my free time, and I procrastinate and avoid things until my closets are so full they explode, and I drown in meetings, assignments, due dates, appointments, chores, exams, study dates, responsibilities, and ignored friends. I have been continuously bobbing up and down on the stress roller coaster these past few months, going from finally getting the opportunity to catch up on things and enjoy my life, to being overwhelmed, to having an opportunity, to being overwhelmed….blah blah blah. Well, after my most recent life changing event (my car accident, which I will talk about in a separate post), I found myself looking at life differently, yet over these past few days, I notice myself falling back into old bad habits and negative loops. I don’t want this to be another round in the cycle…this has to be different.
There’s no way I am going to take the lessons that my accident has taught me for granted. Over the next 100 days, I am going to devote all of my energy to breaking free from that cycle. I have gathered all of my most important and helpful books, including the Bible, all of Elaine St. James’ books, and Kris Carr’s lovely book. I will add to the collection over these next few months. I will be posting regularly about each lesson, and will focus on one step/project/series a week. I couldn’t wait to start it tomorrow, so I decided to start it immediately. Today is being considered DAY 1!
I encourage you to drop all of the crap in your life too. It’s way too hard to feel like you’re drowning all of the time. That’s not how life is supposed to be. We are supposed to enjoy and appreciate life. We are supposed to grow, and you cannot grow when you are being smothered.
Be watching for a DAY 1 post very soon.
In The Mind Of Ky 